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Stalked by a deranged psycho? hunted by monsters? trapped in a haunted house? not to worry! follow these tips, rules and guides to survive any horror!
WARNING: some rules may seem cruel or inappropriate. these rules are directed to keep one's self alive. Reader results may vary.
Horror- something or someone uncommon and scary that is trying to harm you or others.
There are three general classifications of horrors.
Monsters- an unusual and typically violent creature. Monsters are the most variable horror and usually the most dangerous.
Psychos- humans that have lost their sanity or rational thought and typically react radically to certain stimuli. psychos are the most common horror and one of the easier to survive, but that's not saying much.
Ghosts- paranormal entities that are not flesh and blood and typically without a physical body. ghosts are the least common horror but sometimes hardest to survive.
this volume will cover the general rules; the basics that can be applied to any horror situation.
1. " Virgin Lasts the Longest"- Sex is a big no-no when it comes to horror. breaking off to go get lucky leaves both partners extremely vulnerable to attack and will likely result in their deaths.
2. " Bump in the Night"- most if not all horror situations occur from around dusk till dawn. avoid going outside from 6:00 PM to 6:00 AM. also stay away from locations that can or are dark and suspicious. EXAMPLE: the abandoned insane asylum is abandoned for a reason.
3. " Stay with the Group"- there is survival in numbers, be it protection or just fodder for the horror. you don't need to outrun a horror, just the slowest person in the group. if you are in a group, do not split up. splitting up will decrease your numbers and make it easier for the horror to pick you off one by one.
4. " Drugs are bad"- do not use or consume drugs or alcohol. these will dampen your senses and make you a very easy target to a horror.
5. " The Non-Believer"- do not be a skeptic. if someone is trying to tell you something that you think is ridiculous, listen to them. they may be trying to warn you about a horror and your inability to see the truth may be your downfall. EXAMPLE: an old lady is trying to tell you the cemetery is haunted.
6. "Lock and Load"- always try and arm yourself with some sort of weapon. be it a sharp stick or a rocket launcher, having something to defend yourself with is better than having nothing. that weapon may help in fending off an attacker or saving someone's life.
7. " Law of Double Tap"- if you dealt a fatal blow to a horror, do it again. a lot of the time a horror will not go down with one shot. spend a little extra time or ammunition to deal one more blow to make sure it is truly dead.
8. " Read the Signs"- whether it is a physical road sign or an act of nature, read the signs for impending danger. using common sense is key to your survival. EXAMPLES: if the locals say the house is haunted, it probably is. if animals are fleeing from the forest, follow their lead and stay out of the forest.
9. " Know Thine Enemy"- knowledge is your most powerful weapon. get as much info as you can on a horror to better defend yourself.
10. " Curiosity Killed the Cat"- don't investigate anything strange or something you know nothing about. unless you are 100% sure what it is, don't interact with it. EXAMPLES: do not poke the glowing meteorite with a stick. do not read something in a language you don't know unless you can translate it.
11. " The Heroine"- Most to survive a horror are youthful females. although women tend to be the targets of horror more often than men, they are also more likely to outsmart the horror and come out on top.
12. " Hide and Seek"- Escaping is an essential skill in surviving a horror. if you have to hide from a horror, hide somewhere that the horror can't access or trap you in and that has more than one escape point.
13. " Technical Difficulties"- do not heavily rely on technology to escape a horror. vehicles won't start when they need to or your phone won't get a signal.
14. " Don't be a Dick principle"- don't be mean to people. the persons you mistreated may react violently and people who are kind have a much greater survival rate than those who are mean.
15. " In-Cop-potent"- sad to say, the police will be of little help in a horror situation. in most cases they won't believe your story or will not have the skills to kill a horror. sometimes it is better to not bother with them.
16. " Head Shot"- be it a monster, ghost, or psycho, attacking a horror's head will deal severe if not fatal damage to it 90% of the time.
17. " Everyone is a Suspect"- everyone has the potential to kill, including you. unless they have a viable alibi to a killing, anyone from any background can be the killer.
18. " The Bathroom"- the bathroom is a very common place to be killed by a horror, especially women. if you have to take a shower, have a buddy standing guard outside.
19. " Two Left Feet"- oddly enough, horror victims have an unfortunate habit of tripping while running away. if you trip, just get right back to your feet and keep running.
20. " Don't be a Hero"- the key to surviving a horror is self preservation. Unless you know 100% that you are the lead protagonist, don't try and save other people, especially if they are complete strangers. if you truly have to try and save someone, save a close loved one. sorry, but save family over friends.
